the first new post in february

My dad gave me some great advice when I was younger. When I was 14, he sat me down, said, "Someday you're going to meet a girl who's going to be so right and so wonderful and so perfect that you're not even going to haggle over the price."


My wife read me an article in a women's magazine, about "how a woman can tell if a bloke is any good in bed just by how he is on the dance-floor".
What a load of bollocks!
If a guy's on a dance-floor, getting into it and really enjoying and expressing himself, what does it matter to a woman what he's like in bed?
It's obvious he's ******* gay.


A Scottish Chemistry Teacher is doing an experiment for his class. He takes a pound coin out of his wallet, drops it in a beaker of acid and asks, "Now class, will this Pound coin be dissolved by the acid?"

One pupil puts his hand up. "No sir, it definitely will not!"

The teacher smiles, "That's right, lad - well done! Now, can you explain why?"

The boy smiles back, "Well, if the acid was going to dissolve your coin, you would have used a penny